McCarthy Agrees to Wear Diapers and Shock Collar as New Speaker

Washington DC– Newly elected House Speaker Kevin McCarthy achieved his victory on the 15th vote by agreeing to hard-liners’ demand that he always wear diapers and a shock collar controlled by members of the Freedom Caucus while on the House floor. “The diapers will force Kev Kev to perpetually wallow in humiliation and of course …

Republicans: “We May Have to Do January 6th Again if Trump Indicted.”

Republicans are warning the country that, although they really really don’t want to, they may be forced to do the January 6th insurrection all over again with all its attendant vandalism, attacks on law enforcement, threats to the lives of public officials and smearing of feces on pertinent government landmarks if President Trump is indicted …

New Poll Shows Heavily Armed Psychopaths Leaning Republican

Washington, DC– A new Washington Post/ABC poll shows that 67 percent of heavily armed psychopaths are strongly favoring Republicans in the lead up to November’s mid-term elections. 18 percent of heavily armed psychopaths favored Independents, 8 percent preferred the Green Party and just 7 percent expressed a preference for the Democratic Party. The issues most …

Americans Unfazed by Impending Demise of Democracy

A recent poll found that 67 percent of Americans were unconcerned that former President Trump and his supporters might succeed in overthrowing free and fair elections through extraconstitutional chicanery or the use of violence as long as their comfortable lives remained undisturbed. Chris DeWare, a 31 year-old software engineer in Stockton, California who enjoys water …

Sean Hannity: Deep Deep State

How insidious is the Deep State? It’s so insidious that even apparently stalwart patriots, such as Fox News personality Sean Hannity, can be secretly carrying out its sinister designs. How else can one describe Mr. Hannity’s January 10th, 2020 text message to Trump’s Chief of Staff Mark Meadows and Congressman Jim Jordan that “He (Trump) …

MAGA Jesus Arrested for January 6th Riot

Washington, DC — MAGA Jesus was arrested by the FBI Wednesday after a social media contact reported his post from January 6th boasting that “Me and my patriot disciples are kicking some f*cking Deep State ass today! Yea, behold my righteous pummeling of the iniquitous sons of Satan!” The post included a photo of MAGA …

Critical Race Theory Stormed Capitol January 6th Republicans Say

Republicans have yet another theory about who really attacked the U.S. Capitol on January 6th. According to Tucker Carlson and Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert, critical race theory, the graduate school framework for U.S. History, which claims systematic racism is embedded in all the major institutions of American life, disguised itself as hardcore Trump supporters that …