Category Archives: Cults
Jailed January 6th Rioter Now Realizes He was Antifa All Along
Mike Jaworski was sure he was a staunch supporter of former President Trump. He voted for Trump twice, attended several rallies where he screamed “build the wall” and “lock her up,” and had a thirty foot long Trump flag in front of his home. He flouted COVID 19 restrictions, contracted the disease, gave it to …
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A Guide to Groveling at Mar-a-Lago for Republicans
So you’re an ambitious Republican seeking advancement and you jettisoned any trace of dignity, integrity, self-respect, principles or independent critical thinking in time to catch the great MAGA wave that OUR GREAT LEADER rode into the White House in 2016. Or maybe you hung back, criticized HIS obvious lies, stood on principle and pledged to …
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QAnon Puppet Show Boosts Sagging Trump Campaign
Department of Conspiracies Deputy Director and QAnon puppeteer Nancy Hagan-Bartlett’s new puppet show The Reckoning, which she has been performing as a warm-up act at Trump rallies and live-streaming on Trump websites, has injected a much needed shot of adrenaline into the campaign. Trump campaign officials were dismayed at the flop of the dubious Hunter …
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The Orthodontist’s Bender
All right, so they found me in the fountain of the town square at four o’clock in the morning, naked save for a plastic Halloween mask and a hockey goaltender’s mitt, belligerently brandishing a bottle of Mezcal and scat singing in a previously undiscovered chromatic scale. I wasn’t the first orthodontist who had raised eyebrows …
I Will Make You Less Miserable With The Seven Antidotes to Self-Loathing!
You know you’re not the you you could be. I’m Zack Keane. I can help you become the you you could be. The you you always wanted to be. Where is that you? I’m Zach Keane. Before I became the me I always wanted to be, I was just like the you you are, the …
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My Spiritual Awakening at the Doghouse Sports Bar
My dark journey to spiritual death and rebirth began with a series of seemingly minor setbacks. I lost my job as a carnival ride operator when a mechanical malfunction entirely beyond my control maimed some people, who, it later turned out, had purchased discount tickets. My employers pinned the blame on me simply because they …
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