Rodgers Treating Coronavirus by Sprinkling Ivermectin on his Wheaties

Green Bay, Wisconsin–Star Green Bay Packer Quarterback Aaron Rodgers told reporters Friday that he is taking the advice of podcaster Joe Rogan and sprinkling Ivermectin on his Wheaties every morning for breakfast to treat the Coronavirus he somehow contracted after wisely avoiding the dangers of the vaccines, doing his own research and relying on homeopathic …

Jailed January 6th Rioter Now Realizes He was Antifa All Along

Mike Jaworski was sure he was a staunch supporter of former President Trump. He voted for Trump twice, attended several rallies where he screamed “build the wall” and “lock her up,” and had a thirty foot long Trump flag in front of his home. He flouted COVID 19 restrictions, contracted the disease, gave it to …

Dead Trump Supporter Scores Another Hit with “Militia Boy”

Deceased Trump supporter Phil Jaworski has scored another top country hit with his new song “Militia Boy.” Jaworksi, who died of the coronavirus back in March, took the country music world by storm last month with the number one hit “Buried in My MAGA Hat,” a rollicking ode to the joys of dying of COVID …

Deceased Trump Supporter Tops Country Charts with “Buried in My MAGA Hat”

Phil Jaworski, a fervent Trump supporter who died of the coronavirus in March has taken the Country music world by storm with his posthumously written hit “Buried in My MAGA Hat,” a musical encomium to President Trump that celebrates contracting the virus and dying of it as a means of “triggering the libs.” Jaworksi, who …

Republicans Strive for “Herd Mentality”

Liberals and Never Trumpers have made much of the supposed irony of President Trump, who has gleefully flouted mask-wearing and social distancing guidelines, coming down with COVID-19. What they don’t seem to realize is that his diagnosis was no accident. President Trump is boldly putting into action a plan he described as “herd mentality,” a …

FEMA Stores Coronavirus Hoax Corpses as Texas, Arizona Morgues Overflow

Texas and Arizona have run out of space to store the bodies of victims of the Cornonavirus Hoax. But don’t worry if you live in the Lone Star or Grand Canyon states. You don’t have to wear an uncomfortable mask or practice social distancing because Uncle Sam’s got the freedom-loving Sun Belt states’ backs. FEMA …

Reprieve from Obnoxious American Tourists, COVID-19 Has Europe Living La Dolce Vita

Europe’s declining rates of new COVID-19 infections, paired with the macabre fiasco unfolding in the United States, has had an unexpected side benefit for Europeans: the absence of brash, tubby, monolingual, “I’m with Stupid” t-shirt-wearing American tourists. The European Union’s travel ban on the United States, which leads the world by far in the number …

Dentist Arrested for Playing Miles Davis in Waiting Room

Dr. Robert Krager, DDS, was arrested by the American Dental Association Internal Affairs Division at his office in Rancid Acorn, California for playing a Miles Davis album in his waiting room during business hours on Tuesday morning. The popular dentist was handcuffed and perp-walked out through his busy waiting room as stunned patients looked on …

Golf Cart Nazi and Pistol-Packing Lawyer to Appear at Trump’s July 3rd White Supremacy Coronavirus Orgy

Two of the brightest new stars in the world of white supremacy will appear at President Trump’s Independence Day celebration at Mount Rushmore on Friday, adding luster to an event already primed to raise the blood pressure of every red-blooded racist in the country. Both of the freshly-minted celebrities were featured in videos shared on …