Disney’s “The Iceman Cometh on Ice” Pushes Boundaries

Disney’s latest ice show spectacular, “The Iceman Cometh on Ice,” infuses Eugene O’Neill’s tragic masterpiece with a new life in a tour de force of skating and acting that puts recent Broadway revivals to shame. Former Olympic figure skating champion Jamie DeSoto invests the doomed traveling salesman Theodore Hickey with a caustic edge and a …

Plucky Underdogs Forfeit Championship After Coach’s Depressing Pregame Speech

The Carlton High School Prairie Dogs’ Cinderella football season came to an ignominious end Friday night when the team forfeited the championship game to the heavily favored Beaumont High Bison after Prairie Dog coach Hugh Jamison delivered a grim and disheartening pregame speech that starkly delineated the likelihood of a brutal and demoralizing annihilation at …

Fat, Middle-Aged Man’s Cerebral Videos Conquer TikTok

54 year-old Nathan Klebanov seems an unlikely TikTok star, yet his esoteric video lectures on Western Civilization have vaulted him to the apex of TikTok stardom in a few dizzying months. Last week he captured his 100 millionth follower to the astonishment of the winsome, bouncy teens and pre-teens who have dominated the platform up …

Woody Allen Kidnapped by Fans of His Older Work

Celebrated film maker Woody Allen has been abducted from his Manhattan townhouse by a gang of fans of his older work. The kidnappers issued a communique Monday morning to law enforcement and the media stating their intentions. It reads as follows: Whereas Woody Allen’s films have grown more stale than the air in the doomed …

Dead Trump Supporter Scores Another Hit with “Militia Boy”

Deceased Trump supporter Phil Jaworski has scored another top country hit with his new song “Militia Boy.” Jaworksi, who died of the coronavirus back in March, took the country music world by storm last month with the number one hit “Buried in My MAGA Hat,” a rollicking ode to the joys of dying of COVID …

Deceased Trump Supporter Tops Country Charts with “Buried in My MAGA Hat”

Phil Jaworski, a fervent Trump supporter who died of the coronavirus in March has taken the Country music world by storm with his posthumously written hit “Buried in My MAGA Hat,” a musical encomium to President Trump that celebrates contracting the virus and dying of it as a means of “triggering the libs.” Jaworksi, who …

LSD-Spiked Gatorade Spices Up Football Coach’s Interview

A bored sports reporter slipped Chicago Pachyderms coach Terry Patterson a cup of Gatorade spiked with LSD, and the coach finally gave an interview worth reading. INTERVIEWER: Coach Patterson, it was a tough first half for the Pachyderms…three turnovers, a blocked field goal, a stalled drive in the red zone and just two third down …

My Nearly Golden Years in Hollywood

If you ever ran into me on Hollywood Boulevard in my John the Baptist outfit, brandishing a fifth of Christian Brothers Brandy, howling at you to repent and squirting holy water at you with a plastic squirt gun, you probably wouldn’t suspect that I once worked with some of the greatest directors in Hollywood. D.W. …

Franz Kafka and the Inferno of Love

It hit me late one night when I was in the bookstore after my girlfriend had locked me out of the house. Suffering through the most devastating case of writer’s block I had ever had, I had somewhat rashly destroyed a little furniture. Then at Stacey’s insistence, I went down to retrieve the remnants of …

Dentist Arrested for Playing Miles Davis in Waiting Room

Dr. Robert Krager, DDS, was arrested by the American Dental Association Internal Affairs Division at his office in Rancid Acorn, California for playing a Miles Davis album in his waiting room during business hours on Tuesday morning. The popular dentist was handcuffed and perp-walked out through his busy waiting room as stunned patients looked on …