President Trump is cowering in the White House since the election was called for Joe Biden on Saturday, too emotionally fragile to acknowledge the resounding loss the voters of the country have dealt him. Apart from putting in an appearance to honor veterans Wednesday, the Commander in Chief has been hunkered down on his presidential …
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Chicago Pachyderms coach Terry Patterson declared victory over the New Haven Vaqueros with twelve minutes and thirty-two seconds remaining in the third quarter Sunday, claiming that “a very sad group of people” had taken mysterious steps to cheat his team out of what would have been a certain victory in spite of the fact that …
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Department of Conspiracies Deputy Director and QAnon puppeteer Nancy Hagan-Bartlett’s new puppet show The Reckoning, which she has been performing as a warm-up act at Trump rallies and live-streaming on Trump websites, has injected a much needed shot of adrenaline into the campaign. Trump campaign officials were dismayed at the flop of the dubious Hunter …
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Liberals and Never Trumpers have made much of the supposed irony of President Trump, who has gleefully flouted mask-wearing and social distancing guidelines, coming down with COVID-19. What they don’t seem to realize is that his diagnosis was no accident. President Trump is boldly putting into action a plan he described as “herd mentality,” a …
Okay, so you’re Senator Lindsey Graham, and you are doing precisely the opposite of what you passionately declared was your principled position four years ago. You are seemingly hoisted on your own petard. “I want you to use my words against me. If there’s a Republican president in 2016 and a vacancy occurs in the …
Continue reading “How Not to Be a Hypocrite for Republicans”
You know you’re not the you you could be. I’m Zack Keane. I can help you become the you you could be. The you you always wanted to be. Where is that you? I’m Zach Keane. Before I became the me I always wanted to be, I was just like the you you are, the …
Continue reading “I Will Make You Less Miserable With The Seven Antidotes to Self-Loathing!”
A bored sports reporter slipped Chicago Pachyderms coach Terry Patterson a cup of Gatorade spiked with LSD, and the coach finally gave an interview worth reading. INTERVIEWER: Coach Patterson, it was a tough first half for the Pachyderms…three turnovers, a blocked field goal, a stalled drive in the red zone and just two third down …
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Jerry Falwell Jr.’s sudden resignation from the presidency of Liberty University Monday has freed up his schedule so that he will now be able to speak to the Republican Convention on the topic of Christian values. “I just felt that speaking to the president’s supporters, who I know take their core Christian beliefs as seriously …
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A recently discovered transcript of a conversation between King Henry VIII, his chief minister Thomas Cromwell and Queen Anne Boleyn, confirms that the paunchy potentate did indeed invent miniature golf. Henry VIII’s office in the Palace of Whitehall, 1535. HENRY is standing over his desk, feverishly studying some plans. After a moment his minister THOMAS …
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Wayne LaPierre, the embattled chief executive of the National Rifle Association, is locked and loaded and blasting away at his far left persecutors. Facing a lawsuit by the state of New York that accuses him and other top NRA officials of siphoning 64 million dollars from the non-profit in three years, LaPierre is placing the …
Continue reading “Radical Left Forced LaPierre to Vacation in Bahamas 8 Times on NRA’s Dime”