Patriots and Constitutional scholars around the nation have begun to rise up and defy the left-wing, modern medical science that has needlessly brought the economy to a standstill and cast the long, sinister shadow of socialism over our fruited plains. Ironically, the focal point of the rebellion is in Idaho, a state that now has …
Continue reading “Ammon Bundy Vows to Soak in Bathtub of Coronavirus Spittle at Easter Service”
President Trump issued an executive order Wednesday morning declaring that “the past does not exist, never took place and therefore cannot be referred to in public discourse or in print in any way.” Critics immediately claimed the president was attempting to erase the recent historical record of his statements on the Coronavirus, which, if they …
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Conservative radio host Glenn Beck set himself on fire to encourage other fifty-plus Americans to do away with themselves in order to “clear the deck” for younger Americans to resume their work and jump-start an economy shut down by the Coronavirus. Mr. Beck was the third prominent conservative to immolate himself in recent weeks. Fox …
Continue reading “Glenn Beck Third Conservative to Immolate Self for the Dow”
Passionate Donald Trump supporter Phil Jaworski died of the Coronavirus Monday night at Presence Saint Joseph Hospital in Chicago, insisting to his final breath that he was in fact dying from the flu despite testing positive for COVID-19 last week. Jaworksi made news last year when he warned during an interview at a Trump rally …
In a bid to support their president’s tough immigration policies, hundreds of thousands of white Trump supporters around the country are taking backbreaking, low-paying agricultural jobs usually done by immigrants. The surprise movement, which emerged suddenly out of nowhere, has been dubbed the “Caucasian Campesinos” by the media. One of these hardy Trump supporters, Stephanie …
Continue reading ““Caucasian Campesinos” Cheerfully Embrace Grueling Farm Labor”
As the rest of the world urgently prepares for a potential pandemic that has already apparently claimed the lives of 2,700 people and sickened as many as 80,000 worldwide, President Trump and his Republican supporters are not being taken in. Radio host and Medal of Freedom recipient Rush Limbaugh sought to bring clarity to the …
Continue reading “Republicans Not Fooled by Deep State Coronavirus”
Austin, Texas. Senator Bernie Sanders, fresh off his resounding victory in the Nevada Caucuses, announced before an ebullient crowd here on Sunday that he would immediately guillotine MSNBC political analyst Chris Matthews upon assuming office. “On day one of my administration, Chris Matthews will be flown to Washington DC in chains, and publicly guillotined in …
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Washington, D.C. The Director of the Department of Conspiracies, Richard Trumball, publicly criticized Attorney General William Barr Friday for encroaching on his jurisdiction after Barr acknowledged that the Department of Justice had “created a process that Rudy Giuliani could give information and they would see if it’s verified.” Trumball, the bedraggled former street preacher tapped …
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Washington, D.C. In a shocking development nobody had anticipated, every Republican Senator joined their Democratic colleagues in voting to convict and remove President Trump from office. Many of the senators, who indicated previously that they would vote for acquittal, said they had experienced an overnight epiphany in which they suddenly recognized President Trump as an …
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A coffee shop. Walt, a professionally dressed man in his thirties sits at a table, drinking coffee and reviewing something on his laptop. SAMANTHA, also in her thirties and professionally dressed, enters with a coffee and her laptop and takes a seat at an adjoining table. WALT glances over at her, then resumes his work. …
Continue reading “The Facebook Conversion: One Insult Can Change a Life Forever”
