MAGA Jesus Arrested for January 6th Riot

Washington, DC — MAGA Jesus was arrested by the FBI Wednesday after a social media contact reported his post from January 6th boasting that “Me and my patriot disciples are kicking some f*cking Deep State ass today! Yea, behold my righteous pummeling of the iniquitous sons of Satan!” The post included a photo of MAGA …

Critical Race Theory Stormed Capitol January 6th Republicans Say

Republicans have yet another theory about who really attacked the U.S. Capitol on January 6th. According to Tucker Carlson and Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert, critical race theory, the graduate school framework for U.S. History, which claims systematic racism is embedded in all the major institutions of American life, disguised itself as hardcore Trump supporters that …

A Guide to Groveling at Mar-a-Lago for Republicans

So you’re an ambitious Republican seeking advancement and you jettisoned any trace of dignity, integrity, self-respect, principles or independent critical thinking in time to catch the great MAGA wave that OUR GREAT LEADER rode into the White House in 2016. Or maybe you hung back, criticized HIS obvious lies, stood on principle and pledged to …

Kemp Signs “George Wallace Election Integrity Law” in Georgia

Atlanta–Georgia Governor Brian Kemp signed the sweeping election law passed by Republicans and named in honor of election integrity pioneer George Wallace on Thursday. While critics have argued that the law was designed to address baseless claims of election fraud and suppress the minority vote, Republicans have steadfastly maintained that not passing the law would …

Arrested Rioter to Use “Mindless Trump Goon” Defense Strategy

Trump supporter Mike Jaworski, who was arrested in Chicago Tuesday for participating in the January 6th riot and storming of the U.S. Capitol that ended in the senseless deaths of five people and dozens of injured police officers, said that his defense team will employ the “mindless Trump goon” defense legal strategy. Jaworski was charged …

Candide 2020

In the suburb of Westphalia in San Bernardino County of Southern California in the mansion of the Senior Pastor of the Cathedral of the Holy Lamb’s Divine Florescence there lived a youth of wholesome disposition and unpretentious simplicity named Candide. He was the offspring of the charismatic preacher’s sister Kimberly and a former maintenance worker …

Take Ted Cruz’s Master Class in Sycophancy and Groveling

Hi, I’m Ted Cruz, United States Senator, and I’ll be teaching a two day Master Class in Sycophancy and Groveling on January 20th and 21st, 2021 at the Lubriderm-Citibank Arena in Dallas, Texas. You can take the course online or you can come in person and expose yourself to unmasked Coronavirus deniers while learning the …