Dangerous Neighbors

Dangerous Neighbors Sketch Comedy

Georgia Perry
www.santacruz.com, 2012

The Santa Cruz/San Jose-based sketch comedy troupe Dangerous Neighbors created a new show for the Fringe Festival aptly titled Fringeworthy. While they list "low budget" along with "adult themes" and "language" in their warnings, they don't need to — this show looked professional and was well put-together. We gleaned several pearls of wisdom and life lessons from the show and now present them below to you, for your emotional and existential growth:

Something you may or may not know about those in the service industry:

"You know, waiting tables was actually my plan B."

Why cannibalism slips through the cracks in the Catholic Church:

"I have enough on my hands dealing with all these trumped up molestation charges."

How to be a successful priest:

"Let a couple of unwed mothers cry on your shoulder and bless a couple of dying old farts."

Why you shouldn't feel threatened in the face of a giant, blood-covered weapon:

"I assure you, my harpoons are exclusively decorative."

Why you shouldn't complain about your job anymore, ever again:

"How would you like to be on 24-hour blow job patrol in the bus depot toilets?"

Possible reason God is not answering your prayers:

"Let's just say I don’t spring off the La-Z-Boy like I used to."

Possible reason Jesus is not in a hurry to come back to Earth:

"Even dogs get put to sleep peacefully — the Son of God, they nail to a cross."