Jerry Falwell Jr.’s Schedule Freed Up to Speak at Republican Convention

Jerry Falwell Jr.’s sudden resignation from the presidency of Liberty University Monday has freed up his schedule so that he will now be able to speak to the Republican Convention on the topic of Christian values.

“I just felt that speaking to the president’s supporters, who I know take their core Christian beliefs as seriously as I do, was more important than whatever good I could do at Liberty,” Falwell told reporters.

Cynics pointed out that the stalwart defender of President Trump was more or less forced to resign in the wake of duel scandals. The most recent one involves an affair between Falwell’s wife Becki and former pool boy and business partner Giancarlo Granda, who alleged that Falwell “enjoyed watching from the corner of the room” as Granda plied his membrum virile to the former board member of Women for Trump.

This apparent breach of the strict moral code enforced at Liberty University, which forbids pre-marital sex and the use of alcohol, had ruffled feathers among the staff and students, some of whom were already leery of the president in the wake of his posting a photo of himself getting chummy with another woman with both of their pants unzipped and apparently enjoying an alcoholic beverage while partying on a yacht.

Falwell says he is not certain of the theme of his speech yet, although he is leaning in the direction of God’s infinite forgiveness and his followers’ infinite gullibility.