At first his teammates and some of their parents were alarmed by the primitive religious rituals quarterback Mark Shroeder was performing in the locker room before Winfield High School football games. And then they started winning. And winning some more.
The Cougars are 7-0 and seem to be a lock for the state championship game in December, and Shroeder’s play has been stellar so few are questioning his pre-game practices now. The ceremonies, which involve the two hundred and ten pound duel-threat sophomore QB chanting an eerie, guttural and nearly incomprehensible incantation while shaking a carved bone rattle and wearing a frightening ceremonial mask made from animal hides and festooned with feathers and seashell amulets, are performed in honor of Karpinthicus, an ancient sky deity Shroeder insists is the true creator of the universe.
“We were all a little freaked out about it before,” tight end Billy Lefleur noted. “I mean, I was raised Catholic, and we’ve got some pretty weird stuff with the Latin chanting, the incense and bells and all that. But this is a whole other level.” Some other players have joined Shroeder during his rituals, and at least a couple now consider themselves acolytes of Karpinthicus.
Some Christian parents of players on the team have complained that prayers for victory in football are the exclusive province of their God and have asked the coach to put a stop to what they see as Satanic activity. But Coach Ron Altieri said that he won’t interfere with players’ locker room pre-game rituals, especially with the streak the team is on. “As long as he doesn’t bring his mask and rattle out on the field, I don’t care. If he keeps firing those bullets on third and nine, he can paint himself purple, do the sacred mongoose dance and sacrifice a goddamned chicken in the locker room as far as I’m concerned.”