“I Was an Antifa Unicorn”: A Special Fox News Report

Your inflatable unicorn costume arrives special delivery, courtesy of Soros Enterprises. You try it on, dance in front of the mirror a little. Your wife begs you not to go but your hatred for America and your passionate devotion to Marxism drives you on. You ignore nagging questions like “How will I pee?” and you …

Kilmeade Proposes Killing Homeless, Feeding Them to Working Poor

Fox New Anchor Brian Kilmeade pushed back on critics of his statement last week that homeless people who refused social services should receive lethal injections. “Last week, I rather hastily suggested a final solution to the homeless problem, and a lot of folks took what I said out of context when I said ‘Kill ’em,’” …

Supreme Court Grants El Salvador More Time to Torture Abrego Garcia

The Supreme Court ruled Monday that Abrego Garcia, a Salvadorean national wrongfully deported to his home country, must remain in the CECOT dungeon until authorities there have had the proper time to torture him, strip him of every last ounce of human dignity and provide more Trump officials with the opportunity for photo ops with …

“Caucasian Campesinos” Cheerfully Embrace Grueling Farm Labor

In a bid to support their president’s tough immigration policies, hundreds of thousands of white Trump supporters around the country are taking backbreaking, low-paying agricultural jobs usually done by immigrants. The surprise movement, which emerged suddenly out of nowhere, has been dubbed the “Caucasian Campesinos” by the media. One of these hardy Trump supporters, Stephanie …

Freed Jan 6 Rioter Welcomes Bright Future of Beating Political Opponents With Impunity

Washington, DC — Mike Jaworski, a rioter convicted of stomping on a Capitol Police Officer’s head on January 6th, 2021, has been released following President Trump’s sweeping pardons of those charged or convicted for their participation in that day’s ugly events. Jaworski, who during his trial admitted to being duped by President Trump’s lies about …

Trump Doubles Down on James Brown Helicopter Story

Former President Donald Trump doubled down on his claim that he had a near death experience on a helicopter ride with soul legend James Brown on Monday. Trump insisted that the Godfather of Soul had been on a helicopter ride with him in some nonspecific time and place when engine problems forced the craft to …

Kristi Noem Says Puppy Voted Illegally in 2020

Pierre, South Dakota –Embattled South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem now claims that she shot her dog Cricket not simply for being aggressive but also because she voted illegally for Joe Biden in the 2020 Election as part of a massive Democratic Party voter fraud scheme. While Noem’s critics say her most recent rationale for dragging …

You Can Be a MAGA Historian–No History Background Required!

Have you ever watched an inspiring documentary about the Founding Fathers and thought, “Hey, I’d like to be a historian, but I don’t have any background or education in history”? Well, forget those doubts because now the requirements for becoming a historian in the right wing MAGA world make getting ordained online in the Universal …

McCarthy to Dance With the Stars, Drink With Giuliani

Washington DC– Former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy, fresh off his historic removal from office this week, is embracing the sudden shift in his fortunes and looking to the future with a feisty optimism and an open mind about the many exciting opportunities appearing on the horizon. “Rudy Giuliani left me a message inviting me to …