The Imperialist in My Front Yard

I have several personal connections to the controversial “Captain” Thomas Fallon monument that confronts motorists exiting Highway 87 into downtown San Jose. The triumphal equestrian statue is situated directly in front of the building I live in. It’s also right across the street from the building my mother worked in for nearly fifty years, and …

Woody Allen Kidnapped by Fans of His Older Work

Celebrated film maker Woody Allen has been abducted from his Manhattan townhouse by a gang of fans of his older work. The kidnappers issued a communique Monday morning to law enforcement and the media stating their intentions. It reads as follows: Whereas Woody Allen’s films have grown more stale than the air in the doomed …

My Nearly Golden Years in Hollywood

If you ever ran into me on Hollywood Boulevard in my John the Baptist outfit, brandishing a fifth of Christian Brothers Brandy, howling at you to repent and squirting holy water at you with a plastic squirt gun, you probably wouldn’t suspect that I once worked with some of the greatest directors in Hollywood. D.W. …