Wayne LaPierre, the embattled chief executive of the National Rifle Association, is locked and loaded and blasting away at his far left persecutors. Facing a lawsuit by the state of New York that accuses him and other top NRA officials of siphoning 64 million dollars from the non-profit in three years, LaPierre is placing the blame for his exorbitant spending right where it belongs: on his political opponents.
“The radical left’s machinations against Americans’ Second Amendment Rights were so bad that I was forced to travel by private jet with my family to the Bahamas eight times in three years,” the tanned and testy NRA skipper told reporters from the AwesomeAmerica News Network.
“They were so bad that I was forced to use a 107-foot yacht that was provided by an NRA vendor while I was there. Yes, the NRA, which is funded by the donations and membership fees of NRA members, funded all this. I make no apologies for that. Or for the designer suits or lavish dinners or penile enhancement surgery the Association ponied up. If I hadn’t taken those measures, the Marxist elitists would have confiscated all real Americans’ guns by now and forced us all to become transgender, vegan, Socialist metrosexual coastal elites.”