The Jaunty Jackals shocked the world Friday night when they took the Best New Artist prize at the Satanic Music Awards, leaving presumed winner Tiffany Eldridge and her fans fuming in the audience. The Jackals, a barber shop quartet composed of four middle-aged gents with top hats and silken vocal cords, seem unlikely stars, but they have been honing their act at Satanic Temples, county fairs, pizza parlors and Satanic orgies for decades.
Lead singer Artemas Fletcher says the group is taking their newfound success in stride. “Our music all stems from our devotion to the Dark Lord. We work very hard to get the harmonies just right for him. We don’t push Lucifer on anyone. We want the perfection of our music to be an inspiring example of what Satan can bring to people’s lives.”
Tiffany Eldridge unleashed an angry Tweetstorm after the show, calling the four men “disgusting old farts” and denouncing the Satanic Music Academy as “unprincipled, tasteless, and totally lacking in integrity.” Fletcher fired back on his own Twitter account, chiding her that “We may be disgusting old farts, but at least we don’t have to go out there and shake our tits and ass because we can actually sing.”