Supporters of President Trump who had warned of a civil war if he was impeached and boasted about their weapons collections are now wondering who they should kill and/or where they should report for civil war duty after the House voted to impeach the president Wednesday night. Phil Jaworski, a Trump supporter from Chicago who …
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A network of radical vegans has engaged in a widespread covert takeover of steakhouses throughout the country, drugging and indoctrinating owners and staff and transforming the restaurants into bastions of veganism. In March of 2019, Margaret and Joseph Huddleston of White Plains, New York went to Ike’s Steakhouse for the Tuesday Night Prime Rib Special …
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An English Village in 1348. PETER, a peasant in his thirties is sitting by a well, reading a book. Suddenly, several panicked villagers, some with large bumps or boils on their faces, run past. NIGEL, another peasant in his thirties enters running. PETER: Nigel, what’s going on? NIGEL stops and doubles over, catching his breath. …
The front yard of a middle class home. GLADYS, a woman in her sixties, is pruning flowers. HERB, an elderly mailman, enters with his mailbag. HERB: Morning, Gladys. GLADYS: Hi, Herb, how you doing? HERB: Fine. Looks like it’s going to be a hot one. GLADYS: Looks like it. HERB pulls some mail out of …
Continue reading “Off the Deep State End (a Playlet about Your Fox News-Watching Uncle Phil)”
At first his teammates and some of their parents were alarmed by the primitive religious rituals quarterback Mark Shroeder was performing in the locker room before Winfield High School football games. And then they started winning. And winning some more. The Cougars are 7-0 and seem to be a lock for the state championship game …
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A manuscript discovered in a London attic in 2016 confirmed the long rumored literary collaboration between Jane Austen and Henry Miller. After the resolution of legal disputes between the heirs of the Austen and Miller estates, the work is finally to be published this year. Dangerous Neighbors presents an exclusive excerpt published for the very …
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Washington D.C. A memo from the White House has been circulating among Republican members of Congress as the Democrats’ impeachment inquiry ramps up. The memo, leaked to reporters by an unnamed Republican, demands that “all Republicans roll in shit in the presence of the Commander in Chief to prove their loyalty to him during the …
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My dark journey to spiritual death and rebirth began with a series of seemingly minor setbacks. I lost my job as a carnival ride operator when a mechanical malfunction entirely beyond my control maimed some people, who, it later turned out, had purchased discount tickets. My employers pinned the blame on me simply because they …
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The Jaunty Jackals shocked the world Friday night when they took the Best New Artist prize at the Satanic Music Awards, leaving presumed winner Tiffany Eldridge and her fans fuming in the audience. The Jackals, a barber shop quartet composed of four middle-aged gents with top hats and silken vocal cords, seem unlikely stars, but …
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The Greeks All theater as we know it today is derived from the dithyramb, a ritual dance performed at festivals honoring the god Dionysus in Ancient Greece. The origins of the dithyramb, which roughly translated means “drunken goat dance,” are obscure, but scholars believe it may have evolved from the ritual sacrifice of a goat. …
