Angry Parents Demand Removal of Bible From School Library for “Sodomy, Incest and Trafficking”

Parched Thistle Prairie, Texas–Vanessa Carlton, a forty-three year old mother of three, rose resolutely and marched to the podium at the Parched Thistle Prairie School Board Meeting Thursday night carrying a large black book. “My three children attend the schools here, and after hearing about some of the smut that the school libraries are pushing …

Rodgers Treating Coronavirus by Sprinkling Ivermectin on his Wheaties

Green Bay, Wisconsin–Star Green Bay Packer Quarterback Aaron Rodgers told reporters Friday that he is taking the advice of podcaster Joe Rogan and sprinkling Ivermectin on his Wheaties every morning for breakfast to treat the Coronavirus he somehow contracted after wisely avoiding the dangers of the vaccines, doing his own research and relying on homeopathic …

Disney’s “The Iceman Cometh on Ice” Pushes Boundaries

Disney’s latest ice show spectacular, “The Iceman Cometh on Ice,” infuses Eugene O’Neill’s tragic masterpiece with a new life in a tour de force of skating and acting that puts recent Broadway revivals to shame. Former Olympic figure skating champion Jamie DeSoto invests the doomed traveling salesman Theodore Hickey with a caustic edge and a …

“Gravity is Real” Says Arkansas Man Injured in Cliff Jump

Jimmy Ray Fulton thought gravity was a Deep State conspiracy when he leaped off the eighty foot cliff at Heber Springs without a cable or harness. People at the popular cliff jumping site in Arkansas had warned him that jumping off a cliff with no cable or harness was dangerous, but the twenty-seven year old …

I’m A Texas Abortion Vigilante and I’m Watching You

My name is Steven Shroeder and I am a Texas abortion vigilante. I used to spend a lot of my time picketing abortion clinics and attending protests against the murder of innocent babies. But now I have something even better to do with my free time. I can watch all of you hedonistic Marxist sluts …

MAGA Jesus Arrested for January 6th Riot

Washington, DC — MAGA Jesus was arrested by the FBI Wednesday after a social media contact reported his post from January 6th boasting that “Me and my patriot disciples are kicking some f*cking Deep State ass today! Yea, behold my righteous pummeling of the iniquitous sons of Satan!” The post included a photo of MAGA …

Statue Honoring Unvaccinated Dead Heroes Erected by Republicans

Jefferson City, Missouri– State legislators in Missouri have erected a statue paying tribute to the many Missourians who bravely refused the COVID-19 vaccine and subsequently contracted the disease and perished in order to help Republicans with their short term political goal of thwarting President Biden’s efforts to vaccinate 70 percent of the country by July …