The Jaunty Jackals shocked the world Friday night when they took the Best New Artist prize at the Satanic Music Awards, leaving presumed winner Tiffany Eldridge and her fans fuming in the audience. The Jackals, a barber shop quartet composed of four middle-aged gents with top hats and silken vocal cords, seem unlikely stars, but …
Continue reading “Satanic Barber Shop Quartet Delivers Lucifer’s Message with Harmony and Whimsy”
The Greeks All theater as we know it today is derived from the dithyramb, a ritual dance performed at festivals honoring the god Dionysus in Ancient Greece. The origins of the dithyramb, which roughly translated means “drunken goat dance,” are obscure, but scholars believe it may have evolved from the ritual sacrifice of a goat. …
Washington, D.C. President Trump appointed veteran street preacher Richard Trumball to be the Director of his new Department of Conspiracies on Friday. Trumball, who has been a disheveled, obnoxious fixture on the corner of 4th and Reed streets in Columbus, Ohio for more than a decade, is well known to locals for ranting about wild …
Continue reading “Scroungy Street Preacher Named Trump’s Conspiracy Czar”
Would-be “Good-Guy-With-a-Gun” Damian Willard, who attempted to shoot the suspect of America’s latest mass shooting Tuesday night at the outdoor Norwegian Blues Festival in Parched Thistle Prairie, Texas, was disappointed that he instead inflicted three additional fatalities on the festival goers. “I’m not sure what happened,” a shaken Willard said in an interview Wednesday with …
Continue reading ““Good-Guy-With-a-Gun” Stunned He Boosted Death Toll”
