Category Archives: Conservatism
Angry Parents Demand Removal of Bible From School Library for “Sodomy, Incest and Trafficking”
Parched Thistle Prairie, Texas–Vanessa Carlton, a forty-three year old mother of three, rose resolutely and marched to the podium at the Parched Thistle Prairie School Board Meeting Thursday night carrying a large black book. “My three children attend the schools here, and after hearing about some of the smut that the school libraries are pushing …
Rodgers Treating Coronavirus by Sprinkling Ivermectin on his Wheaties
Green Bay, Wisconsin–Star Green Bay Packer Quarterback Aaron Rodgers told reporters Friday that he is taking the advice of podcaster Joe Rogan and sprinkling Ivermectin on his Wheaties every morning for breakfast to treat the Coronavirus he somehow contracted after wisely avoiding the dangers of the vaccines, doing his own research and relying on homeopathic …
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“Gravity is Real” Says Arkansas Man Injured in Cliff Jump
Jimmy Ray Fulton thought gravity was a Deep State conspiracy when he leaped off the eighty foot cliff at Heber Springs without a cable or harness. People at the popular cliff jumping site in Arkansas had warned him that jumping off a cliff with no cable or harness was dangerous, but the twenty-seven year old …
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MAGA Jesus Arrested for January 6th Riot
Washington, DC — MAGA Jesus was arrested by the FBI Wednesday after a social media contact reported his post from January 6th boasting that “Me and my patriot disciples are kicking some f*cking Deep State ass today! Yea, behold my righteous pummeling of the iniquitous sons of Satan!” The post included a photo of MAGA …
Statue Honoring Unvaccinated Dead Heroes Erected by Republicans
Jefferson City, Missouri– State legislators in Missouri have erected a statue paying tribute to the many Missourians who bravely refused the COVID-19 vaccine and subsequently contracted the disease and perished in order to help Republicans with their short term political goal of thwarting President Biden’s efforts to vaccinate 70 percent of the country by July …
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Critical Race Theory Stormed Capitol January 6th Republicans Say
Republicans have yet another theory about who really attacked the U.S. Capitol on January 6th. According to Tucker Carlson and Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert, critical race theory, the graduate school framework for U.S. History, which claims systematic racism is embedded in all the major institutions of American life, disguised itself as hardcore Trump supporters that …
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Republicans Systematically Outlaw Teaching of Systemic Racism
The party of free speech and local control is systematically using state governments to suppress any teaching in schools and universities that systematic racism has existed and continues to exist in the United States. Conservative legislatures in more than a dozen states have proposed or enacted laws to curtail the teaching about the role of …
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A Guide to Groveling at Mar-a-Lago for Republicans
So you’re an ambitious Republican seeking advancement and you jettisoned any trace of dignity, integrity, self-respect, principles or independent critical thinking in time to catch the great MAGA wave that OUR GREAT LEADER rode into the White House in 2016. Or maybe you hung back, criticized HIS obvious lies, stood on principle and pledged to …
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Fox Fires White Supremacist Tucker Carlson for White Supremacy
Fox Corporation fired popular white supremacist talk show host Tucker Carlson Tuesday for comments he made last week endorsing a white supremacist conspiracy theory. Fox CEO Lachlan Murdoch, who made the announcement Tuesday night, was clearly livid that Carlson had espoused the “great replacement” theory during an appearance on Fox News Primetime. The theory promulgates …
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