It hit me late one night when I was in the bookstore after my girlfriend had locked me out of the house. Suffering through the most devastating case of writer’s block I had ever had, I had somewhat rashly destroyed a little furniture. Then at Stacey’s insistence, I went down to retrieve the remnants of …
Category Archives: History
Conservatives: BLM is Communism Just Like Civil Rights Movement
Conservatives are not falling for the popular new kid in school who has made protesting cool again. Just as their forefathers exposed the Civil Rights Movement as the insidious Communist plot it was in the 1950s and 1960s, contemporary conservatives are revealing the sinister Marxist conspiracy animating the hordes of dupes in the streets who …
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Golf Cart Nazi and Pistol-Packing Lawyer to Appear at Trump’s July 3rd White Supremacy Coronavirus Orgy
Two of the brightest new stars in the world of white supremacy will appear at President Trump’s Independence Day celebration at Mount Rushmore on Friday, adding luster to an event already primed to raise the blood pressure of every red-blooded racist in the country. Both of the freshly-minted celebrities were featured in videos shared on …
Trump: “Very Fine People on Both Sides of Tulsa Massacre”
Tulsa, Oklahoma. At his first campaign rally since the COVID-19 shutdown Saturday night in Tulsa, President Trump took credit for educating the country about historical facts he claims it didn’t know. “Most people didn’t know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican. I taught them that. Most people didn’t know that Frederick Douglas was somebody who’s …
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New Conservative History Museum Shows that Slavery was “Just a Passing Phase”
Charleston, South Carolina. A new conservative American History museum is slated to open in Charleston this month that will illustrate that “slavery was just a passing phase the young republic experienced,” according to Museum Director Cody Ralston. “I went through a Goth phase when I was in high school,” Ralston noted at a press conference …
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Conservatives Offer to Acknowledge Climate Change and Evolution if They Can Still Deny White Privilege
Under pressure to acknowledge the glaringly obvious reality of white privilege illustrated by recent events, conservatives have instead offered to recognize the veracity of climate change and evolution if Black Lives Matters activists and progressives promise never to bring up the concept of white privilege again. The extraordinary offer was made after a ludicrous comment …
Tyrant George Washington Trampled Colonists’ Rights With Quarantine in 1775
It is a little known fact today that George Washington overreached his authority and unilaterally ordered a quarantine of American citizens fleeing the British occupation of Boston and an outbreak of smallpox in the city in 1775. The tyrannical general, who had recently arrived in Cambridge to take command of the new Continental Army in …
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Is Country Music Too Intellectual?
Some music critics are growing unsettled by the recent trend in Country Music toward more cerebral themes and elaborate concept albums they fear is tearing the genre from its humble roots. Carter McFarland, editor of Country Music Today, worries that some artists are drifting too far from the fundamentals. “We’ve got some folks out there …
You Can Beat the Black Death: Use the Power of Your Mind to Conquer the Deadliest Pandemic in Human History
An English Village in 1348. PETER, a peasant in his thirties is sitting by a well, reading a book. Suddenly, several panicked villagers, some with large bumps or boils on their faces, run past. NIGEL, another peasant in his thirties enters running. PETER: Nigel, what’s going on? NIGEL stops and doubles over, catching his breath. …
The Smell of the Greasepaint Through the Ages: A History of Western Theater/Part I
The Greeks All theater as we know it today is derived from the dithyramb, a ritual dance performed at festivals honoring the god Dionysus in Ancient Greece. The origins of the dithyramb, which roughly translated means “drunken goat dance,” are obscure, but scholars believe it may have evolved from the ritual sacrifice of a goat. …