Okay, so you’re Senator Lindsey Graham, and you are doing precisely the opposite of what you passionately declared was your principled position four years ago. You are seemingly hoisted on your own petard. “I want you to use my words against me. If there’s a Republican president in 2016 and a vacancy occurs in the …
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A tape recording of Hitler’s last minute marriage proposal to Eva Braun has been discovered in the ruins of the old Reich Chancellery Bunker in Berlin where they were married and shortly afterward committed suicide in April of 1945. Dangerous Neighbors is proud to present an English translation of the transcript for the very first …
Continue reading ““Will You Marry Me Before We Kill Ourselves?””
You know you’re not the you you could be. I’m Zack Keane. I can help you become the you you could be. The you you always wanted to be. Where is that you? I’m Zach Keane. Before I became the me I always wanted to be, I was just like the you you are, the …
Continue reading “I Will Make You Less Miserable With The Seven Antidotes to Self-Loathing!”
A bored sports reporter slipped Chicago Pachyderms coach Terry Patterson a cup of Gatorade spiked with LSD, and the coach finally gave an interview worth reading. INTERVIEWER: Coach Patterson, it was a tough first half for the Pachyderms…three turnovers, a blocked field goal, a stalled drive in the red zone and just two third down …
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A recently unearthed transcript of the Inquisition’s Trial of Galileo in Rome in 1633 reveals that the astronomer’s charm offensive nearly got him off the hook. INQUISITOR: Galileo Galilei, you have been brought before this tribunal on very serious charges. They include– GALILEO: This isn’t about that, uh, little crack I made the other day, …
Jerry Falwell Jr.’s sudden resignation from the presidency of Liberty University Monday has freed up his schedule so that he will now be able to speak to the Republican Convention on the topic of Christian values. “I just felt that speaking to the president’s supporters, who I know take their core Christian beliefs as seriously …
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A recently discovered transcript of a conversation between King Henry VIII, his chief minister Thomas Cromwell and Queen Anne Boleyn, confirms that the paunchy potentate did indeed invent miniature golf. Henry VIII’s office in the Palace of Whitehall, 1535. HENRY is standing over his desk, feverishly studying some plans. After a moment his minister THOMAS …
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Wayne LaPierre, the embattled chief executive of the National Rifle Association, is locked and loaded and blasting away at his far left persecutors. Facing a lawsuit by the state of New York that accuses him and other top NRA officials of siphoning 64 million dollars from the non-profit in three years, LaPierre is placing the …
Continue reading “Radical Left Forced LaPierre to Vacation in Bahamas 8 Times on NRA’s Dime”
It hit me late one night when I was in the bookstore after my girlfriend had locked me out of the house. Suffering through the most devastating case of writer’s block I had ever had, I had somewhat rashly destroyed a little furniture. Then at Stacey’s insistence, I went down to retrieve the remnants of …
The reviews are in for President Trump’s reenactment of Terry Gilliam’s movie Brazil in the streets of Portland and so far they are less than stellar. According to local officials and pretty much everybody else, the heavily armed, federal shock troops deployed to the City of Roses exacerbated the situation by attracting larger crowds to …
Continue reading “Trump Delays Police State Until Delayed Election”
