Phoenix, Arizona– Failed Arizona gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake has announced that she will commence a campaign of visiting random street corners in the cities of Arizona and screaming at passers-by and passing motorists that “I am the real governor!” with a deranged look on her face. Other slogans she will be shrieking include “Katie Hobbs is a Chinese, Hugo Chavez Puppet!” and “Arizona Voting Machines Gave Republicans Syphilis!”
The screaming campaign was the brainchild of newly hired advisor Richard Trumball, former Director of the Department of Conspiracies for the Trump administration. Trumball, a scroungy former street preacher on the streets of Columbus, Ohio before his stint with the Trump administration, thought that Lake needed something beyond the obligatory legal challenges to the election.
“Let’s face it, those wild claims of massive election fraud dissolve like Cornflakes in battery acid in a court of law,” Trumball told reporters Friday afternoon. “But on the street corner, the wilder the claims, the better. You want to grab their attention with a combination of berserk allegations and an outlandish display of feverish lunacy. Kari has always had that weird sort of nervous energy and natural hostility, but I encouraged her to take it to the next level and let it all hang loose on the street corner. A shot of Christian Brothers Brandy before you hit the street doesn’t hurt either.”