CPAC Chairman Matt Schlapp sharply criticized Congresswoman Lauren Boebert Saturday for vigorously stroking the member of her date at a performance of the musical Beetlejuice in Colorado last week.
“If you’re going to grab somebody’s schlong while being a self-professed purveyor of Christian family values, at least do it in the back seat of a limousine or some other discrete location and not somewhere where there are security cameras to record your blatant hypocrisy.”
Schlapp, who is being sued by former Herschel Walker campaign aid for grabbing the young man’s crotch while his limousine was taking him to his hotel, boasted that there is no video evidence supporting the charges against him, just an apologetic text message where he begs the aid to call him.
When a reporter pointed out that Boebert’s public pleasuring of her date at least appeared to be consensual as opposed to Schlapp’s unwanted mugging of the young man’s nether regions, the CPAC Chairman insisted that he merely was attempting to pray with him when his hands mysteriously wandered in the course of doing the Lord’s work.