Europe’s declining rates of new COVID-19 infections, paired with the macabre fiasco unfolding in the United States, has had an unexpected side benefit for Europeans: the absence of brash, tubby, monolingual, “I’m with Stupid” t-shirt-wearing American tourists. The European Union’s travel ban on the United States, which leads the world by far in the number …
Author Archives: bburman36
Dentist Arrested for Playing Miles Davis in Waiting Room
Dr. Robert Krager, DDS, was arrested by the American Dental Association Internal Affairs Division at his office in Rancid Acorn, California for playing a Miles Davis album in his waiting room during business hours on Tuesday morning. The popular dentist was handcuffed and perp-walked out through his busy waiting room as stunned patients looked on …
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Conservatives: BLM is Communism Just Like Civil Rights Movement
Conservatives are not falling for the popular new kid in school who has made protesting cool again. Just as their forefathers exposed the Civil Rights Movement as the insidious Communist plot it was in the 1950s and 1960s, contemporary conservatives are revealing the sinister Marxist conspiracy animating the hordes of dupes in the streets who …
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Golf Cart Nazi and Pistol-Packing Lawyer to Appear at Trump’s July 3rd White Supremacy Coronavirus Orgy
Two of the brightest new stars in the world of white supremacy will appear at President Trump’s Independence Day celebration at Mount Rushmore on Friday, adding luster to an event already primed to raise the blood pressure of every red-blooded racist in the country. Both of the freshly-minted celebrities were featured in videos shared on …
Sun Belt Governors Turn to Tyranny After COVID-19 Freedom Spikes
Governors in three Sun Belt states who previously had fought bravely against the tyranny of government anti-Coronavirus measures have suddenly and inexplicably caved into political correctness and imposed the heavy hand of the state on their freedom-loving peoples. Using the pretense of record-breaking daily Coronavirus infection rates in their respective states, Republican governors Greg Abbott …
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Disturbed QAnon Puppeteer to Join Trump Administration
Washington, DC. QAnon Puppeteer Nancy Hagen-Bartlett was named Deputy Director to the Department of Conspiracies on Friday by Director Richard Trumball. Hagen-Bartlett initially came to the attention of Trump officials with her puppet show “The Storm,” which reveals the conspiracy perpetrated against President Trump by an international ring of Satan-worshipping pedophiles who run the Deep …
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Trump: “Very Fine People on Both Sides of Tulsa Massacre”
Tulsa, Oklahoma. At his first campaign rally since the COVID-19 shutdown Saturday night in Tulsa, President Trump took credit for educating the country about historical facts he claims it didn’t know. “Most people didn’t know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican. I taught them that. Most people didn’t know that Frederick Douglas was somebody who’s …
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New Conservative History Museum Shows that Slavery was “Just a Passing Phase”
Charleston, South Carolina. A new conservative American History museum is slated to open in Charleston this month that will illustrate that “slavery was just a passing phase the young republic experienced,” according to Museum Director Cody Ralston. “I went through a Goth phase when I was in high school,” Ralston noted at a press conference …
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Geriatric Antifa Commandos Storm White House
Washington DC. A squad of elite geriatric Antifa commandos masquerading as Black Lives Matters protesters surged past barriers and stormed the White House Friday morning, easily routing secret service agents and police officers as they flooded into the building. According to one reporter, President Trump was caught as he was fleeing to his basement bunker …
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Antifa Battle Cruiser Spotted in Skies Over Rural Idaho
An Antifa Battle Cruiser was sighted over rural Idaho Thursday night according to a Facebook post by a group known as “The Paunchy Patriots.” The group, which is devoted to protecting the Second Amendment rights of Americans and eating copious amounts of garlic fries, claims in the post that it “has received credible intel that …
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