If you ever ran into me on Hollywood Boulevard in my John the Baptist outfit, brandishing a fifth of Christian Brothers Brandy, howling at you to repent and squirting holy water at you with a plastic squirt gun, you probably wouldn’t suspect that I once worked with some of the greatest directors in Hollywood. D.W. …
Category Archives: Comedy
Franz Kafka and the Inferno of Love
It hit me late one night when I was in the bookstore after my girlfriend had locked me out of the house. Suffering through the most devastating case of writer’s block I had ever had, I had somewhat rashly destroyed a little furniture. Then at Stacey’s insistence, I went down to retrieve the remnants of …
Trump Delays Police State Until Delayed Election
The reviews are in for President Trump’s reenactment of Terry Gilliam’s movie Brazil in the streets of Portland and so far they are less than stellar. According to local officials and pretty much everybody else, the heavily armed, federal shock troops deployed to the City of Roses exacerbated the situation by attracting larger crowds to …
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New Priest at Our Lady of the Irritable Bowels Adjusting Well After Abrupt Transfer From St.–Well, From Another Diocese
Some parishioners may have noticed a fresh face among the clergy here at Our Lady of the Irritable Bowels. A highly experienced priest who has worked in some sixteen different dioceses in his long and varied career, he brings a sharply honed administrative expertise that Bishop Hagan hopes will streamline church policies and finances. As …
FEMA Stores Coronavirus Hoax Corpses as Texas, Arizona Morgues Overflow
Texas and Arizona have run out of space to store the bodies of victims of the Cornonavirus Hoax. But don’t worry if you live in the Lone Star or Grand Canyon states. You don’t have to wear an uncomfortable mask or practice social distancing because Uncle Sam’s got the freedom-loving Sun Belt states’ backs. FEMA …
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Reprieve from Obnoxious American Tourists, COVID-19 Has Europe Living La Dolce Vita
Europe’s declining rates of new COVID-19 infections, paired with the macabre fiasco unfolding in the United States, has had an unexpected side benefit for Europeans: the absence of brash, tubby, monolingual, “I’m with Stupid” t-shirt-wearing American tourists. The European Union’s travel ban on the United States, which leads the world by far in the number …
Dentist Arrested for Playing Miles Davis in Waiting Room
Dr. Robert Krager, DDS, was arrested by the American Dental Association Internal Affairs Division at his office in Rancid Acorn, California for playing a Miles Davis album in his waiting room during business hours on Tuesday morning. The popular dentist was handcuffed and perp-walked out through his busy waiting room as stunned patients looked on …
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Conservatives: BLM is Communism Just Like Civil Rights Movement
Conservatives are not falling for the popular new kid in school who has made protesting cool again. Just as their forefathers exposed the Civil Rights Movement as the insidious Communist plot it was in the 1950s and 1960s, contemporary conservatives are revealing the sinister Marxist conspiracy animating the hordes of dupes in the streets who …
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Golf Cart Nazi and Pistol-Packing Lawyer to Appear at Trump’s July 3rd White Supremacy Coronavirus Orgy
Two of the brightest new stars in the world of white supremacy will appear at President Trump’s Independence Day celebration at Mount Rushmore on Friday, adding luster to an event already primed to raise the blood pressure of every red-blooded racist in the country. Both of the freshly-minted celebrities were featured in videos shared on …
Sun Belt Governors Turn to Tyranny After COVID-19 Freedom Spikes
Governors in three Sun Belt states who previously had fought bravely against the tyranny of government anti-Coronavirus measures have suddenly and inexplicably caved into political correctness and imposed the heavy hand of the state on their freedom-loving peoples. Using the pretense of record-breaking daily Coronavirus infection rates in their respective states, Republican governors Greg Abbott …
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