CPAC Chairman Matt Schlapp sharply criticized Congresswoman Lauren Boebert Saturday for vigorously stroking the member of her date at a performance of the musical Beetlejuice in Colorado last week. “If you’re going to grab somebody’s schlong while being a self-professed purveyor of Christian family values, at least do it in the back seat of a …
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Godly Christian conservative men are very concerned about other men who don women’s clothing for public entertainment and other purposes. How concerned? They think about them a lot. A lot. These righteous followers of Jesus Christ and supply side economics, who are very secure in their own masculinity, wake up at night worrying about their …
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The Republican National Committee, seeking to capitalize on the jubilation of conservatives over the leaked draft of the Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade, has introduced a new slogan for the 2022 campaign: “Have Your Rapist’s Baby for Jesus!” “We think this will give young women the opportunity to demonstrate great faith in God …
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Nobody is born gay, and I was no exception. I had a crush on Teresa Holcomb in kindergarten and Misty Carlyle in first grade. The crushes on girls continued up until middle school. But one day I was perusing books at the school library and I happened upon this teen novel. It was one of …
Parched Thistle Prairie, Texas–Vanessa Carlton, a forty-three year old mother of three, rose resolutely and marched to the podium at the Parched Thistle Prairie School Board Meeting Thursday night carrying a large black book. “My three children attend the schools here, and after hearing about some of the smut that the school libraries are pushing …
My name is Steven Shroeder and I am a Texas abortion vigilante. I used to spend a lot of my time picketing abortion clinics and attending protests against the murder of innocent babies. But now I have something even better to do with my free time. I can watch all of you hedonistic Marxist sluts …
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A classroom in a community center. A group of people sit in chairs in a half circle with JUDITH in the center. The group is a mix of adults of all ages, including CHRISSY, a pale, gaunt young woman with a shaved head and a nose ring and GEORGE, an impassive middle-aged man. Also in …
God, also known as Jehovah, is stepping down temporarily as Supreme Being after a third woman has come forward with accusations of sexual harassment. The Lord, who had previously dismissed two other accusers as “publicity hustlers,” acknowledged in an interview Tuesday with Christianity Tomorrow that he may have at times “fallen short of the high …
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Okay, so you’re Senator Lindsey Graham, and you are doing precisely the opposite of what you passionately declared was your principled position four years ago. You are seemingly hoisted on your own petard. “I want you to use my words against me. If there’s a Republican president in 2016 and a vacancy occurs in the …
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A recently unearthed transcript of the Inquisition’s Trial of Galileo in Rome in 1633 reveals that the astronomer’s charm offensive nearly got him off the hook. INQUISITOR: Galileo Galilei, you have been brought before this tribunal on very serious charges. They include– GALILEO: This isn’t about that, uh, little crack I made the other day, …
