Washington D.C. President Trump is planning to send what he is now calling “Victory Ventilators” to states where people are protesting against shelter-in-place orders encouraged by his own administration’s guidelines. “These patriots are putting themselves at great risk of catching the virus in order to protest the totally unnecessary orders designed to protect them from …
Category Archives: President Trump
President Trump Issues Executive Order Declaring the Past Does Not Exist
President Trump issued an executive order Wednesday morning declaring that “the past does not exist, never took place and therefore cannot be referred to in public discourse or in print in any way.” Critics immediately claimed the president was attempting to erase the recent historical record of his statements on the Coronavirus, which, if they …
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Trump Supporter Dies of Coronavirus Hoax
Passionate Donald Trump supporter Phil Jaworski died of the Coronavirus Monday night at Presence Saint Joseph Hospital in Chicago, insisting to his final breath that he was in fact dying from the flu despite testing positive for COVID-19 last week. Jaworksi made news last year when he warned during an interview at a Trump rally …
“Caucasian Campesinos” Cheerfully Embrace Grueling Farm Labor
In a bid to support their president’s tough immigration policies, hundreds of thousands of white Trump supporters around the country are taking backbreaking, low-paying agricultural jobs usually done by immigrants. The surprise movement, which emerged suddenly out of nowhere, has been dubbed the “Caucasian Campesinos” by the media. One of these hardy Trump supporters, Stephanie …
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Republicans Not Fooled by Deep State Coronavirus
As the rest of the world urgently prepares for a potential pandemic that has already apparently claimed the lives of 2,700 people and sickened as many as 80,000 worldwide, President Trump and his Republican supporters are not being taken in. Radio host and Medal of Freedom recipient Rush Limbaugh sought to bring clarity to the …
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Conspiracy Czar Attacks Barr for Usurping His Role
Washington, D.C. The Director of the Department of Conspiracies, Richard Trumball, publicly criticized Attorney General William Barr Friday for encroaching on his jurisdiction after Barr acknowledged that the Department of Justice had “created a process that Rudy Giuliani could give information and they would see if it’s verified.” Trumball, the bedraggled former street preacher tapped …
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Republicans’ Overnight Epiphanies Bring Surprise Conviction of President Trump
Washington, D.C. In a shocking development nobody had anticipated, every Republican Senator joined their Democratic colleagues in voting to convict and remove President Trump from office. Many of the senators, who indicated previously that they would vote for acquittal, said they had experienced an overnight epiphany in which they suddenly recognized President Trump as an …
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Trump Demands Iraqis Pay for “All the Expensive Bombs We’ve Dropped on Them”
President Trump responded to the interim Iraqi Prime Minister’s insistence that all foreign troops leave his country by demanding that Iraqis pay for all the bombs the United States has dropped on their country in the nearly seventeen years of U.S. occupation since the March, 2003 invasion. “We have dropped a lot of very expensive …
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Trump Supporters Ask “Who Do We Shoot?” After Trump Impeached
Supporters of President Trump who had warned of a civil war if he was impeached and boasted about their weapons collections are now wondering who they should kill and/or where they should report for civil war duty after the House voted to impeach the president Wednesday night. Phil Jaworski, a Trump supporter from Chicago who …
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Confederate Monument to be Moved to Stephen Miller’s Bedroom
A memorial statue of Confederate General and early Ku Klux Klan member Lester Rochambeau Curtiss riding his horse over a naked, bound slave woman while pleasantly sipping a mint julep will be moved into the bedroom of Senior White House Advisor Stephen Miller. The monument, which the city council had voted to remove from Caucasian …
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