Charleston, South Carolina. A new conservative American History museum is slated to open in Charleston this month that will illustrate that “slavery was just a passing phase the young republic experienced,” according to Museum Director Cody Ralston. “I went through a Goth phase when I was in high school,” Ralston noted at a press conference …
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Under pressure to acknowledge the glaringly obvious reality of white privilege illustrated by recent events, conservatives have instead offered to recognize the veracity of climate change and evolution if Black Lives Matters activists and progressives promise never to bring up the concept of white privilege again. The extraordinary offer was made after a ludicrous comment …
Parched Thistle Prairie, Texas. An Evangelical swingers club, which had defied Texas Governor Greg Abbott’s April 2nd Stay-at-Home order and continued with its Wednesday night “Commingle for Christ” orgies, has finally halted the weekly event after three of its members perished from COVID-19 and another seven have become infected. The group, which calls itself “The …
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Conservative radio host Glenn Beck set himself on fire to encourage other fifty-plus Americans to do away with themselves in order to “clear the deck” for younger Americans to resume their work and jump-start an economy shut down by the Coronavirus. Mr. Beck was the third prominent conservative to immolate himself in recent weeks. Fox …
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As the rest of the world urgently prepares for a potential pandemic that has already apparently claimed the lives of 2,700 people and sickened as many as 80,000 worldwide, President Trump and his Republican supporters are not being taken in. Radio host and Medal of Freedom recipient Rush Limbaugh sought to bring clarity to the …
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As the holidays approach many Evangelical Christians are dreading family gatherings where they may encounter unsaved family members or friends who fail to understand God’s plan to use President Trump, whose lies flow as freely as the bowel movements of a sick man who just ate a super burrito and a Triple Shot Espresso Frappuccino, …
Continue reading “Strain of Defending Chosen One’s Lies Taking Toll on God’s People”
The front yard of a middle class home. GLADYS, a woman in her sixties, is pruning flowers. HERB, an elderly mailman, enters with his mailbag. HERB: Morning, Gladys. GLADYS: Hi, Herb, how you doing? HERB: Fine. Looks like it’s going to be a hot one. GLADYS: Looks like it. HERB pulls some mail out of …
Continue reading “Off the Deep State End (a Playlet about Your Fox News-Watching Uncle Phil)”
Washington D.C. A memo from the White House has been circulating among Republican members of Congress as the Democrats’ impeachment inquiry ramps up. The memo, leaked to reporters by an unnamed Republican, demands that “all Republicans roll in shit in the presence of the Commander in Chief to prove their loyalty to him during the …
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Would-be “Good-Guy-With-a-Gun” Damian Willard, who attempted to shoot the suspect of America’s latest mass shooting Tuesday night at the outdoor Norwegian Blues Festival in Parched Thistle Prairie, Texas, was disappointed that he instead inflicted three additional fatalities on the festival goers. “I’m not sure what happened,” a shaken Willard said in an interview Wednesday with …
Continue reading ““Good-Guy-With-a-Gun” Stunned He Boosted Death Toll”
